It’s only the 3rd day of school and I’m already confused…
Grad school is hard :(
Okay I’m done complaining now. Back to Tim Tams and studying.
I.e., when you see your own children, both of them, vandalizing a neighbor’s garden and front door, please stop them. Please don’t just watch from afar in your lawn chair as if you are proud of your children. Yeah, YOU, woman from 2 doors down.
I took my niece to the playground today, and there was a little boy who went home without his bike and jacket.
Naturally, as most people would, I took his bike and jacket to his house. He was still playing in the garage so I told him that I’ll leave it in the garage for him and he nodded. As I was walking out of his garage, his mom and grandma came home. I smiled, but all they did was gave me the death glare.
WTF. I’m not trying to break into your house or steal your things. I had my niece with me so it’s not like I’m going to try anything stupid.
Now suck it, douchebags.
Scoring in the 88.5th percentile for OAT may not be enough to get into the schools that I want.
THINGS YOU’D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK:
1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn word you’re saying.
10. Ahhh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again…
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be..?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
30. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
31. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
32. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
34. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it…like humor…but different.
As I was walking towards the parking lot after work today, I passed by these 2 chicks. Both of them looked at me as I walked by and as soon as I was out of their peripheral vision, they laughed. Then, one of them said “that’s her”.
WTF? If you got something to say, say it to my face biotch.
Or at least have the common courtesy of letting me in on the joke, so I could laugh with you and cross you off my black list.
Now, thanks to you, I have to constantly worry if there’s toilet paper sticking out of my ass.